Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. After some time, along came this little old man. The son said, "Dad! There is one." The father replied, "No, there is not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We will just wait." A little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he is plenty big enough." The father again replied, "No we'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."
"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."
"Why not?" asked the son.
"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother!"
This is not simply a joke but almost a complete depiction of men's behaviour towards women. Men may not agree with me but it's true that most of them possess such "carnivore" kind of thoughts about women. Although things have changed a lot in this hi-tech modern age and women have become much smarter than men, still there is no harm in giving them a piece of advice as to how to distinguish between good guys and bad guys. Following tips will make this selection much easier for women:
First of all, always keep in mind that all the men are weird unless proved otherwise. This is exactly in the same way as once NAB introduced a law saying "everybody is corrupt unless proved otherwise". So treat all the men keeping in mind this basic premise. Let them prove that they do not belong to that "cannibal" breed mentioned above. This may sound a bit harsh but this is the way how one should handle (with care) the opposite sex nowadays. Women who are weird themselves may ignore this tip.
If a man tries to portray himself (out of proportion) as a 'goody' kind of a person, beware of him. Such men usually have a dual personality. Modus operandi of these men is usually to win the confidence of the lady by making compliance to every order which they actually can't even think of obeying at their homes. For example, if they are out with their sister for her shopping, they will become restless hardly after an hour. On the other hand, if they are buying something for the "targeted" lady with her, they will keep their toothpaste advertisement type smile on their face till they drop her home. Apparently, there is nothing wrong in going out with such kind of men but the problem starts when these men begin unfolding the other part of their personality which is not that much pleasant. This usually happens after a certain critical point of time.
Another tip for distinguishing between good and bad is that good guys usually behave in a normal manner, e.g., neither they are extra polite nor harsh, they also don't give any preferential treatment to the lady in an office or workplace, hence, at times these good guys are actually of no use. Whereas irrespective of their "ulterior motives", bad guys can be very obliging at times provided their services are smartly utilised by women. It is said that there is no lack of talent in this country so similarly there is no dearth of smart ladies also in this fertile land who know the art of handling bad guys.
There can also be a situation, quite different from the above, where a man pretends to ignore the lady. This kind of man believes that he is a "lady killer" and since he's got an irresistible personality and a woman would eventually fall for him. To me, this sort also comes under the category of bad guys because he knows the strength and weaknesses of a woman and can easily exploit her as and when the situation demands. The best way to handle this lady killer is to ignore his 'indifferent' attitude, be patient and wait till the time he stops ignoring you. He won't resist too long; and once he is after you, keep him on track as you like. I call this phenomenon "a lady killer, killed by a lady."
The worst kind of bad guys are those who become possessive immediately after they receive the first phone call from the girl. "Where have you been? Why didn't you pick my phone earlier? Were you with somebody...who...your colleague? Why did you say hello to him in such a pleasant tone, is he your friend? Why don't you try wearing an abaya, it will suit you?" These are some of the examples of typical questions which these guys usually start asking at a very pre-mature stage of a relationship. There can only be one strategy for these guys - a shut up call straight away!
Once somebody asked Ibne Safi, the famous Urdu novelist, "Why is your hero, Ali Imran, always encountered with a woman in every story who accompanies him till the end?" To this, the great novelist replied, "Since the story can be told in a much better way with the presence of a beautiful lady in the plot, there is no point in adding an ugly looking male character therein." This is another tip for women. Situations where you can manage yourself, don't involve bad (or even good) guys. Avoiding good guys is also important because you won't be able to know when a good guy becomes a bad guy and vice versa although chances of latter are quite grim.
Apart from all the above mentioned tips, one must also realise that it's not a man's world anymore, it's a woman's world now. So, don't worry if you come across a really bad guy. In that case, ignore all the above tips and just treat him like Muntazer Al Zaidi (Iraqi journalist) treated ex-American President George Bush.....:)